Third Set of Cast ...

We went in on Monday, June 28, 2010 and got Megyn's new set of cast. She did worse this time. It seemed to hurt her more than the other two times. I was wondering why and the doctor didn't seem to know why either. The left foot is looking the way they want it to and is responding well but the right is not. Dr. Capehart came in and said he "was very pleased with the left foot and ankle and he hates to try to guess because he always gets it wrong but he is thinking we may not have to do surgery on Megyn's left foot but the right one it looks like it is still possible." I hate hearing that!!! I really don't want my baby to have to endure surgery at 3 months but I promised her what ever it took we would do to help her walk. There were others in the room this time including an elderly lady. She started crying and telling Cam "your hurting her, do you have to do that, stop, look at her" ... It broke my heart and I felt like it was unnecessary but I know it is and every now and then I feel that way but I know it is what is best for her.

There are parts on her feet that look like hamburger meat and they assure me that it is okay and that it is where the skin was tight and is loose now. They say it will heal over time, I REALLY HOPE SO ... IT LOOKS NASTY!!

They did bring her left foot past the straight point and turned it towards the out side of her body to try to stretch her tendons the best they could.

On the bright side ... She is the clinic's favorite little patient. The ladies take a photo of her every time they see her and they love on her.

Megyn's feet ... see the hamburger meat? YUCKY!!! :o( Poor baby

Megyn's feet after they took off the cast ...

You can see that they left looks better!

Second set of cast ...

Well mommy and Megyn went in for her second set of cast today. She slept through the part where they cut off her cast. I did notice a difference in her feet this time ... THANK GOD!!

She was once again screaming as they stretched her feet. Also, she yelled while they casted them again. They were able to stretch her ankles straight and next we will start on her feet. It will take at least two more times of casting to get her ankles straight. We were told to prepare ourselves for the surgery because her tendons are so tight and they don't think it will loosen but I feel there is still time for this to happen. After they do the surgery and take the cast off I will have to do stretches every 3 hours or her ankles and feet will turn back in ... I PROMISE NOW I WILL DO ALL I CAN TO KEEP THIS FROM HAPPENING! She deserves a fighting chance and I will give her that.

I DID DO BETTER THIS TIME BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THIS IS WHAT SHE NEEDS AND IT HURTS ME TO SEE HER DO THIS AND HURT THROUGH IT BUT I WILL DO IT AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

I took a lot of pictures for you all to see what happens while we are in there ... so here you go.

CUTTING THE CAST OFF

CASTING MEGYN'S FEET

MEGYN'S FEET ~ 6/14/10

MEGYN'S FEET ~ 6/21/10

SOCKS ...

When we had the cast put on they told us that the cast would probably rub a spot on the back of her legs. They told us to put alcohol on it. I DID THAT and BABY WAS NOT HAPPY :(

So ... I cut the tops of socks off and put them on her legs. She looks like she is wearing leggings but hey she has no sores on the backs of her legs.

IF YOU HAVE A BABY WITH CAST THIS IS A GREAT IDEA AND DO NOT, I MEAN DO NOT PUT THE ALCOHOL ON THEIR LEGS! I don't know what I was thinking listening ... I know that had to hurt her and it hurts me that I did that. CAN WE SAY ANOTHER LESSON LEARNED?

MEGYN AND HER SOCKS ... silly looking I know but it helps her! I will come up with something better soon.

Learning as I go ...

Well ... there are a few things that I have learned having a baby with a disability.

1. People are going to look and talk ... that is okay because they do not know any better.

2. It is a learning process and nothing is perfect but I will make it.

3. Giving a bath to Megyn is hard, especially when I can't get her cast wet!

Today I tried to give her a bath and figure out how to do it without getting her cast wet. Well needless to say she cried the entire time. I got some washcloths that have soap already in them. They will become a mothers best friend if you can't get your child wet in a bath.

(Johnson's head-to-toe washcloths) THANK YOU JOHNSON'S :)

I will get bath time down but I never thought that something so easy could be so hard .... makes me laugh. I am sure everyone would have laughed at watching me try to give Megyn a bath.

THESE ARE ONE OF MY NEW FAVORITE THINGS!!

Our First Visit ...

Our first visit was nerve racking. Were they going to cast her legs today? What are they going to say? Is she going to walk? Is it going to hurt her? I had so many questions and so much fear.

We went into our exam room and Dr. Capehart came in, looked at her and told us her tendons were very tight and that we would start casting that day (Monday, 6/14/10). He told us we would do a series of casts, changing them every week. Then at three month she would likely need a surgery to extend her heel bones. I just wanted to cry ... I don't want her to have surgery but if this is what needs to be done then we will do it.

After the casting and surgery she will then be put in braces up to possibly the age of five. Her calf muscles will be smaller than most but she should be able to walk with the correct interventions. We were then taken into the casting room. The casting takes two people to do it correctly. They stretched her ankles and held them in place and casted them in plaster cast. They said it was one of the worst cases because it affects her feet and ankles. They are going to start on her ankles then do the feet and the bend. She screamed and cried the whole time. I cried and wanted it stopped but had to tell myself that this is for the best and will help her in the long run. She will not be able to walk with out this correction and this is the only way to fix it. She is in some discomfort but not enough to keep her up at nights. I am now excited to see what they look like on Monday and how much they have corrected.

I have to remind myself and Craig (my husband) has to remind me we will not see a huge difference right away. Also, we still don't know if she will walk until she starts trying. But, today she rolled over twice from belly to back, which shows me how strong she is and that she will do this and we will never know any difference when she is older.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's funny we named our daughter Megyn "FAITH". Why did I seem to lose my faith in God when this happened? Why did I not trust that God would take care of Megyn and assure that with time she will walk? Faith seems to be the first thing to go. I do have faith I just need to be reminded of God's promises and that he loves us and will never leave us.

He hasn't left us and shows me everyday he love me. Just looking into my daughters eyes I feel this love. What once felt like a curse feels like a blessing now. I feel blessed that God loves and trust my husband and I enough to trust us with this little angle to take care of. He knew my husband and I would care for her and make sure she would walk in due time! :)

Where our story began ...

On June 1, 2010, I gave birth to my fourth daughter, Megyn Faith. At first it was a normal birth and we were so excited. When my doctor pulled her out he showed us her feet. "Don't worry, this can be fixed, it is called Club Feet". I was devastated and by looking at my husbands face he was too.

What is this? Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? All these questions were going through my mind. I felt ashamed. I felt hurt and didn't know what to do and who to turn to.

I said out loud "I just want to scream and cry". My doctor and nurse both said "it's okay to cry". "You want a normal child and this is not normal".

I cried and cried and cried some more. I had never heard of this and we were told that we may be driving to St. Louis to fix it, every five days. Next came them telling me that her blood sugar was too low and her breathing was not good and they had to monitor her. I was so upset, then I felt ashamed that I was ashamed of her feet and ankles. I just wanted to hold her and love on her and tell her it was okay and mommy and daddy would take care of her.

That night was hard on me. I couldn't keep her in my room because they had to observe her all night. It seems like I cried all night and every time I slipped off to sleep I found my self waking up and praying and talking to God and I kept asking why. I wasn't sure if she would ever walk and we still aren't sure of that but we know with God with us anything is possible.

The next morning our pediatrician came in and told us her breathing was better and her sugar levels were good now. Next he explained to us that we could see Dr. Capehart in Tulsa, OK and he has been doing this for years and was one of the best there is to take care of this disability.

WOW ... "disability" that is hard to swallow. I hate that word and it makes me cry just to type it. But yes, she is considered disabled as of right now.

We were told that we should start as soon as possible on her casting. The casting will help correct it and then she may require some surgery.

So much information to absorb in such short time. All this in just one day of her life.